Monday, June 30, 2008

The Mohallel - Islam's version of "Please Bang my Wife"

Volume 3, Book 48, Number 807:
Narrated Aisha:
The wife of Rifa'a Al-Qurazi came to the Prophet and said, "I was Rifa'a's wife, but he divorced me and it was a final irrevocable divorce. Then I married AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair but he is impotent." The Prophet asked her 'Do you want to remarry Rifa'a? You cannot unless you had a complete sexual relation with your present husband." Abu Bakr was sitting with Allah's Apostle and Khalid bin Said bin Al-'As was at the door waiting to be admitted. He said, "O Abu Bakr! Do you hear what this (woman) is revealing frankly before the Prophet ?"

THe above passage is one of many Hadith verses that describe the Mohallel; another barbaric Islamic law.

This is when a man actually pays another man to marry his ex-wife for one night and have sex with her and divorce her the next day so that the two of them can remarry. In Islam a man has the unilateral right to divorce (by itself a violation of womens rights), under following procedures. A man can divorce his wife once, by telling her "I divorce you" and if they are faced with each other the divorce is nullified and they can resume normal relations. A man can divorce his wife twice, "I divorce you, I divorce you" and then if they have sexual intercourse the divorce is nullified and they can resume their marital relation. However, once a man divorces his wife three times "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you" in presence of a witness. Then in order for them to get back together the man has to find a "Mohallel" a man who would marry his wife for one night and then divorce her so he and his ex-wife can go back together. Many times these Mohallels do not divorce the wife the next day. And there is nothing the ex-husband can do about it.

1) Did Mohammad create these rules so he could jerk of more, whence causing semen stains on his clothing? (
2) Which prophet would encourage rules that would utterly humiliate both husband and wife?
3) Was this an attempt for Mohammad to get more action with the wives of other men? (After all, Mohammad was known as quite a sex-pot - Tabari VIII:110 "When Abu Sufyan learned that the Prophet had taken her, he said, 'That stallion's nose is not to be restrained!'"
4) Which type of religious figures would encourage this lewd and licentious behaviour?
5) Did Bukhari and Sahih Muslim include stories of the Mohallel to show how depraved Mohammad was regarding rules of man and wife?

Monday, June 23, 2008

Guy converts to Islam after a wolf ate his sheep, and told him to convert to Islam

Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 39, Number 517:

Narrated Abu Huraira:The Prophet said, "While a man was riding a cow, it turned towards him and said, 'I have not been created for this purpose (i.e. carrying), I have been created for sloughing." The Prophet added, "I, Abu Bakr and 'Umar believe in the story." The Prophet went on, "A wolf caught a sheep, and when the shepherd chased it, the wolf said, 'Who will be its guard on the day of wild beasts, when there will be no shepherd for it except me?' "After narrating it, the Prophet said, "I, Abu Bakr and 'Umar too believe it." Abu Salama (a sub-narrator) said, "Abu Bakr and 'Umar were not present then." (It has been written that a wolf also spoke to one of the companions of the Prophet near Medina as narrated in Fatah-al-Bari:

Narrated Unais bin 'Amr: Ahban bin Aus said, "I was amongst my sheep. Suddenly a wolf caught a sheep and I shouted at it. The wolf sat on its tail and addressed me, saying, 'Who will look after it (i.e. the sheep) when you will be busy and not able to look after it? Do you forbid me the provision which Allah has provided me?' " Ahban added, "I clapped my hands and said, 'By Allah, I have never seen anything more curious and wonderful than this!' On that the wolf said, 'There is something (more curious) and wonderful than this; that is, Allah's Apostle in those palm trees, inviting people to Allah (i.e. Islam).' "Unais bin 'Amr further said, "Then Ahban went to Allah's Apostle and informed him what happened and embraced Islam.)" palm trees or other trees and share the fruits with me."

1) What religious purpose existed for the cow telling a person that he was not for riding?
a) Where does one find a talking cow?
b) Do cows talk if you ride them?
c) Was the purpose of the talking cow an endorsement for Hinduism, and its reverence for the bovine nation?
d) Do cows worship Allah, Krishna or any deity?

2) Why would Mohammad add "I, Abu Bakr and 'Umar too believe it" when they were not there?
a) Did Mohammad need the endorsement of people to verify his stories?
b) COuld Umar and Abu Bakr only believe this story when they were not present, and would not die of laughter if they were there?

3) The following passage spoken by the wolf is disturbing: 'Who will be its guard on the day of wild beasts, when there will be no shepherd for it except me?'
a) Does that mean that humanity will end?
b) Does that mean that Allah is so cruel, that once humanity ends, he will entrust sheep to wolves, so they may be slaughtered?
c) Is this a subversive reference to the slaughter of Christians, as Jesus was called "Lamb of God"; or is it a subversive reference to Christians living under Islamic countries (i.e. the Ottoman Empire whose symbol was a wolf, and was entrusted to look after Christians, and did so by committing mass genocide?)

4) This passage spoken by the wolf in the second paragraph makes no sense: 'There is something (more curious) and wonderful than this; that is, Allah's Apostle in those palm trees, inviting people to Allah (i.e. Islam).'
a) Why would a wolf eat some guy's sheep and tell him to follow Allah's apostle?
i) Was it so the wolf could eat more sheep?
b) Why would the shephard follow the advice of a wolf who just ate his sheep, and effectively made him poorer?
c) Was the shephard dumb?
d) Who follows the advice of a person that just screwed them, especially in converting to a religion advocated that animal that screwed them?

5) What is more curious than a talking wolf? Mohammad under date trees inviting people to Allah...

6) Finally, did Bukhari include this passage to show that it is a curious thing how anyone could follow Mohammad?
a) Or did he include this to show that following Mohammad will cause one to lose their belongings to the proverbial wolf?

Thursday, June 19, 2008


Book 008, Number 3240:
Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.

Book 008, Number 3241:
Jabir b. 'Abdullah reported that Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) saw a woman; and the rest of the hadith was narrated but (with this exception) that he said he came to his wife Zainab, who was tanning a (piece of) leather, and he made no mention of:" She retires in the shape of satan."

Book 008, Number 3242:
Jabir heard Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) say: When a woman fascinates any one of you and she captivates his heart, he should go to his wife and have an intercourse with her, for it would repel what he feels.

This series of Hadiths presents quite an interesting dilemma:

1) Why does Satan appear in the form of a woman?
a) Does this mean that lesbians are actually lusting after devils?
b) Does this mean that homosexuals are the purest humans because they cannot be tempted by a devil who takes the form of a woman?
2) Does this mean that women have more religious power over men?
3) How does Mohammad show restraint when he gets horny; by taking a cold shower or ravaging one of his wives?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Controlling sexual desires requires ordering a woman (during menstration) to put on an Izar, and then start fondling her

Bukhari Volume 1, Book 6, Number 299:
Narrated 'Abdur-Rahman bin Al-Aswad:
(on the authority of his father) 'Aisha said: "Whenever Allah's Apostle wanted to fondle anyone of us during her periods (menses), he used to order her to put on an Izar and start fondling her." 'Aisha added, "None of you could control his sexual desires as the Prophet could."

Volume 1, Book 5, Number 268:
"The Prophet used to visit all his wives in a round, during the day and night and they were eleven in number. Prophet was given the strength of thirty (men)."

Bukhari,Volume 7, Book 62, Number 6:
The Prophet used to go round (have sexual relations with) all his wives in one night

Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 5, Number 270:
Aisha said, "I scented Allah's Apostle and he went round (had sexual intercourse with) all his wives."

I am not sure how Mohammad controlled his sexual urges? Do the above passages mean that controlling sexual desires require ordering a woman (during menstration) to put on an Izar, and then start fondling her, irrespective of a voracious sexual appetite?

One could argue that Mohammad had more sexual restraint than others, but, that is not so, given that "Prophet (Mohammad) was given the strength of thirty (men)."

As such, the only logical conculsion is that controlling sexual desires requires ordering a woman (during menstration) to put on an Izar, and then start fondling her

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Mohammad forbid Muslims to play Chess

Sahih Muslim
Book 028, Number 5612:
Buraida reported on the authority of his father that Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: He who played chess is like one who dyed his hand with the flesh and blood of swine.

Did Mohammad prohibit this game because it involved thinking?

Could this be the reason why Muslims have a major problem thinking one move ahead, let alone 2 or more? Why dont Muslim countries generate wealth besides the exploitation of natural resources, (coincidentally, performed by engineers from Non-muslim countries)?

For example, if we contrast Hindu India with its immediate neighbour Muslim Pakistan, for example, we see how one celebrates different religions and parliamentary representation while the other has been ruled by dictators and persecutes religious minorities. Both countries were left by the British empire with equal economic potential, but while India is about to become an economic super power, Pakistan is in decay.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Being a religious scholar in Islam entails one knowing how to clean themselves after answering the call of nature

Bukhari Volume 1, Book 4, Number 145:
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:
Once the Prophet entered a lavatory and I placed water for his ablution. He asked, "Who placed it?" He was informed accordingly and so he said, "O Allah! Make him (Ibn 'Abbas) a learned scholar in religion (Islam)."

Mohammad praised Ibn Abbas for ensuring that Mohammad had water to clean himself after answering the call of nature. Ibn Abbas' deed was so central to the core of Islam that the prophet (without any prophecies) prayed his follower would be a learned scholar in Islam.

At first blush, this passage does not seem quite impressive at all. However, it is the unimpressive things that tell alot about an ideology.

In this case, Mohammad believed that the path to understanding Islam was bodily cleanliness as opposed to spiritual cleanliness. Why else would he pray that Ibn Abbas become a learned scholar of Islam when the focus of Ibn Abbas' action were physical as opposed to spiritual?

Second, Bukhari implicitly connects Islam to the toilet. He boldly shows that the true heart of Islam for Mohammad centers on cleaning one's self after they answer the call of nature, as opposed to cleansing the soul after one sins.

Friday, June 6, 2008

One must not face the Qibla when taking a dump, unless covered by a screen

Bukhari Volume 1, Book 4, Number 146:
Narrated Abu Aiyub Al-Ansari:
Allah's Apostle said, "If anyone of you goes to an open space for answering the call of nature he should neither face nor turn his back towards the Qibla; he should either face the east or the west."

Bukhari Volume 1, Book 4, Number 147:
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:
People say, "Whenever you sit for answering the call of nature, you should not face the Qibla or Bait-ulMaqdis (Jerusalem)." I told them. "Once I went up the roof of our house and I saw Allah's Apostle answering the call of nature while sitting on two bricks facing Bait-ul-Maqdis (Jerusalem) (but there was a screen covering him. ' (FatehAl-Bari, Page 258, Vol. 1).

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 150:
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:
I went up to the roof of Hafsa's house for some job and I saw Allah's Apostle answering the call of nature facing Sham (Syria, Jordan, Palestine and Lebanon regarded as one country) with his back towards the Qibla. (See Hadith No. 147).

Wow... Mohammad had rules for everything...

The question is, do modern bathrooms come with a screen? Are walls considered screens? If not, do Muslims have a claim of religious discrimination against engineering firms who constructed buildings so that when one answers the call of nature, they face the Qibla?

Why was it necessary to include 'Abdullah bin 'Umar's version of events. In that situation, Mohammad faced Jerusalem, breaking his own religious edict. Did Bukhari include "Volume 1, Book 4, Number 147" and the part of Mohammad using a screen as a way to justify everything Mohammad did, even when he broke his own rules?

Why were Abu Aiyub Al-Ansari and 'Abdullah bin 'Umar watching Mohammad take a dump? Were they the original religious voyeurs?

Why was Mohammad taking a dump on his roof? Was this a reverse chimney?

If Mohammad was the role model for all Muslims, shouldn't all Muslims have people watching them take dumps, and shouldnt all Muslims take a dump on their roof?

Finally, what religious reason exists for mentioning the fact that Allah's Apostle answered the call of nature while sitting on two bricks? Does this mean all muslims should sit on two bricks? Or is this another example of Bukhari poking fun at Mohammad?

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Abu Bakr had a trick played on him by his slave

Bukhari Volume 5, Book 58, Number 182:
Narrated 'Aisha:
Abu Bakr had a slave who used to give him some of his earnings. Abu Bakr used to eat from it. One day he brought something and Abu Bakr ate from it. The slave said to him, "Do you know what this is?" Abu Bakr then enquired, "What is it?" The slave said, "Once, in the pre-Islamic period of ignorance I foretold somebody's future though I did not know this knowledge of foretelling but I, cheated him, and when he met me, he gave me something for that service, and that is what you have eaten from." Then Abu Bakr put his hand in his mouth and vomited whatever was present in his stomach.

Abu Bakr was the first Caliph. He owned a slave who gave him something to eat, which he earned during the Pre-islamic period. The slave earned it by cheating someone. He fed it toAbu Bakr, and Bakr threw up once he knew what it was.

Why would the slave give his master, Abu Bakr, something several years old to eat, especially if he were a Muslim, and Abu Bakr was one of Mohammad's closest companions? Was it because he truly respected Abu Bakr, or was it that he was playing a joke on Abu Bakr? (Thus being like Allah a great trickster (Surah 3:54)

Why did Aisha tell people this? Was it to make fun of her own father, ABbu Bakr, who gave her to Mohammad at age 6?

Did Bukhari include this as part of the Muslim Sunah so that it could be an example to all slaves to permit giving their masters anything that is not clean?

Finally, one must wonder, was the person who was cheated out of the item which Abu Bakr spat out, the same person who asked Mohammad how to deal with people who cheat him during bargain?

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Mohammad used his adopted son Ali as Bait

Tabari VI:142/Ishaq:222 "Thereupon Abu Jahl said, 'I think that we should take one young, strong, well-born man from each clan and give each a sharp sword. They should make for him and strike him with their swords as one man and kill him.'

Gabriel came to the Messenger and said, 'Do not spend this night in the bed in which you usually sleep.' When the first third of the night had gone past, the young men gathered at his door and waited for him to go to sleep so that they could fall upon him. When Muhammad saw what they intended to do, he said to Ali [his adoptive son], 'Lie on my bed and wrap yourself up in my green cloak, the one I use when I go to bed. Nothing unpleasant will befall you from them.'"

Today, I am using some early quotes from both Tabari and Ishaq. The context of this passage was when Muhammad's tribe was fed up of Mohammad's antics.

In this case, Mohammad knew that the men of the Quraish were going to descend upon him, and kill him. What Mohammad did was use his adopted son, Ali (father of the Shiites) as bait for the Quraish to kill.

Why did both Ishaq and Tabari include this story?
Is this the compassion and mercy that Mohammad preaches about, that when he is in trouble, he will give you his cloak to wear, where people would suspect you to be, and for him to run away? (For nice Jinns, he gives animal dung and bones, for his adopted son, he uses as a decoy to evade trouble --

Or was Mohammad being kind to Ali, in order to allow Ali to wallow in Mohammad's semen-soaked clothes --

Did both Tabari and Ishaq show this to allow Muslims to see what type of man Mohammad was, by willing to sacrifice his son to evade trouble, or, to show Mohammad's prophetic abilities that "no harm" would come to Ali?

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Aisha Jealous of Mohammed the Womanizer?

Sahi Muslim

Book 039, Number 6759:
A'isha the wife of Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him), reported that one day Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) came out of her (apartment) during the night and she felt jealous. Then he came and he saw me (in what agitated state of mind) I was. He said: A'isha, what has happened to you? Do you feel jealous? Thereupon she said: How can it he (that a woman like me) should NOT feel jealous in regard to a husband like you. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: It was your devil who had come to you, and she said: Allah's Mes- senger, is there along with me a devil? He said: Yes. I said: Is devil attached to everyone? He said: Yes. I (Aisha) again said: Allah's Messenger, is it with you also? He said: Yes, but my Lord has helped me against him and as such I am ab solutely safe from his mischief.

Let's repeat what Aisha said one more time:

"How can it he (that a woman like me) should NOT feel jealous in regard to a husband like you."

Why did Sahih Muslim include thise verse?
Who was Aisha jealous of? Was it Mohammad's other 10 wives (who were each owed a turn for one night during the week (Mathematically, Mohammad must have shared a night with at least 3 women)? Was it Mohammad's concubines who were not owed sexual turns, but where Mohammad still managed to find time to give them sexual turns? Was it Mohammad's constant wandering eye, looking for the next babe to marry, like the time he saw a 1 year old and said If she is old enough, I will marry her".

Or was it a combination of all these things, where Mohammad was a 60 year old man, constantly looking for women, and imagined his own sexual prowes - "Magic was worked on Allah's Apostle so that he began to imagine that he had done something although he had not. " Bukhari Volume 7, Book 71, Number 661: Narrated 'Aisha, was impotent, and looking for other women?

One thing is certain, Aisha was jealous that she was not Mohammad's only one, and that Sahih Muslim decided to include that Mohammad was a womanizer.

Sahih Muslim also recounts how there was a devil attached to Mohammad, but how his lord Allah kept the devil in check? Did Allah keep the devil in check during Mohammad's genocidal campaigns against the Jews, the pillaging of the Meccans, the acceptance of the Satanic verses, or Mohammad's admitted infidelity?

Needless to say, Sahih Muslim put this in the passage to show what Mohammad thought of being kept in check (i.e. being a perverted, genocidal hate mongerer)