It is a sin to put a thorny twig out of the way. Dont worry, it is forgiveable

Book 020, Number 4705:
It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the, Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: While a man walks along a path, finds a thorny twig lying on the way and puts it aside, Allah would appreciate it and forgive him. The Holy Prophet (may peace be upon him) said: The martyrs are of five kinds: one who dies of plague; one who dies of diarrhoea (or cholera) ; one who is drowned; one who is buried under debris and one who dies fighting in the way of Allah.

1) Why would Allah need to forgive a person for removing a thorny twig lying on the side?
a) Is this because Allah is a sadist and enjoys people suffering? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/07/allah-sadist.html
b) Did Sahih Muslim include this sentence to drop hints that Mohammad and Allah were morally bankrupt and enjoyed seeing people suffer?
c) How do Muslims feel about a deity who forgives you if you made sure to remove a safety hazard, as that deity would consider it a sin to remove such safety hazard?

2) Mohammad defines a martyr. This starkly contrasts the traditional understanding of martyr as defined in Meeriam-Webster's dictionary:

1: a person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion
2: a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle

a) How is a person who dies of plague a martyr?
b) How about diarrhoea? Is dying of diarrhoea a holy deed that earns a Muslim 70 virgins in heaven? How does one approach those 70 virgins in heaven if that person died of diarrhoea? Would those virgins still find that martyr desirable?
c) Why is drowning a sign of martyrdom? Is it because Mohammad wished to see water, and that it was fairly uncommon to drown in the dessert sands of Arabia?
d) How is dying under debris a sign of martyrdom? Are the victims of 9/11 martyrs?
e) Why does Allah encourage fighting for his cause? Why doesnt he ask Muslims to logically articulate his cause instead of being violent? Is it because his cause is logically incoherent and can only be accomplished through violence?

3) Did Sahih Muslim include this ridiculous definition of martyrdom to expose the fraud Islam spreads?