Hadith/Quranic Analysis: 2008

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

2008 year in review

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The following is taken from the noble Quran, chapter 18 (the Cave). This surah talks about how the Alexander the great, a pagan warlord who believed in many gods, was also a Muslim - (maybe talking about Mohammad (SAW) where he once worshipped Allah's daughters).

The following analysis is taken from the following website: http://inthenameofallah.org/quran%20chapter%2018.html. I would normally add my own commentary, but the authors do a good job questioning Mohammad's (SAW) inspiration from Allah.

83 They ask thee concerning Zul-qarnain. Say "I will rehearse to you something of his story."

#2428 Literally, "the Two-horned one", the King with the Two Horns, or the Lord of the Two Epochs. Who was he? In what age, and where did he live? The Qur-an gives us no material on which we can base a positive answer. Nor is it necessary to find an answer, as the story is treated as a Parable. Popular opinion identifies Zul-qarnain with Alexander the Great. An alternative suggestion is an ancient Persian king, or a pre-historic Himyarite King. Zul-qarnain was a most powerful king, but it was Allah, Who, in His universal Plan, gave him power and provided him with the ways and means for his great work. His sway extended over East and West, and over people of diverse civilisations. He was just and righteous, not selfish or grasping. He protected the weak and punished the unlawful and the turbulent. Three of his expeditions are described in the text, each embodying a great ethical idea involved in the possession of kingship or power.#

*** The Quran shows an incredible propensity to jump from one subject to another, completely unconnected to the first, either in sequence or in time.
What has Alexander the Great got to do with the companions of the Cave? With Moses? ***

84 Verily We established his power on earth and We gave him the ways and the means to all ends.
85 One (such) way he followed
86 Until when he reached the setting of the sun He found it set in a spring of murky water: near it he found a People: We said: "O Zul-qarnain! (thou hast authority) either to punish them or to treat them with kindness."

*** In the verses 83- 106 we find several astounding revelations about Muhammad's Quran:
First, is that the Quran declares that the SUN sets in a spring of murky waters.
Second, that where the SUN sets, there are an unknown people.
Third, that Allah addressed Zul Qarnain and gave him authority on how to treat these people.
Fourth, Zul Qarnain, who is supposed to be Alexander the Great, who was a pure pagan, has now been made a Muslim.
Fifth, and most important of all, an almost identical set of verses are mentioned in the Jahiliyah period regarding a Tubba in the line of Himyar whose name was Sa'b Dhu'l-Qarnayn (Sa'b the Two Horned).

Moreover, the author of the following lines was Hassan b Thabit, who was Muhammad's secretary:
"Ours the realm of Dhu 'l-Qarnayn the glorious Realm like his was never won by mortal king.
Followed he the SUN to view its setting
When it sank into the somber ocean-spring;
Up he clomb to see it rise at morning,
From within its Mansions when the East it fired;
All day long the horizons led him onward,
All night through he watched the stars and never tired.
Then of iron and of liquid metal
He prepared a rampart not to be o'erpassed,
Gog and Magog there he threw in prison
Till on Judgement Day they shall awake at last"

The above Arabic text is found in Von Kremer's Altarabische Gedichie ueber die Volgssage von Yemen p.15 (No. viii,1.6 sqq). The reader can see from the above poem, that it contains all the ingredients that the Quran plagiarized from it, almost verbatim. Hence, when a Quranic verse dares the reader to show that any other BUT the Quran has such verses, one can easily show the above as proof. There are even more verses in the Quran that were plagiarized from the poems of Imru'l Qays and others ***

87 He said: "Whoever doth wrong him shall we punish; then shall he be sent back to his Lord; and He will punish him with a punishment unheard-of (before).
88 "But whoever believes and works righteousness he shall have a goodly reward and easy will be his task as we order it by our command."
89 Then followed he (another) way.
90 Until when he came to the rising of the sun he found it rising on a people for whom We had provided no covering protection against the sun.
91 (He left them) as they were: We completely understood what was before him.
92 Then followed he (another) way
93 Until when he reached (a tract) between two mountains he found beneath them a people who scarcely understood a word.
18:94> They said: "O Zul-qarnain! the Gog and Magog (people) do great mischief on earth: shall we then render thee tribute in order that thou mightest erect a barrier between us and them?"

#2439 What we are mainly concerned with is its interpretation. The Conqueror had now arrived among a people who were different in speech and race from him, but not quite primitive, for they were skilled in the working of metals, and could furnish blocks (or bricks) of iron, melt metals with bellows or blow-pipes, and prepare molten lead (xviii. 96). Apparently they were a peaceable and industrious race, much subject to incursions from wild tribes who are called Gog and Magog. Against these tribes they were willing to purchase immunity by paying the Conqueror tribute in return for protection. The permanent protection they wanted was the closing of a mountain gap through which the incursions were made.#
*** Yet once more, the Quran misunderstands the Biblical event and makes its own 'version' of the story.
What is more disturbing but understandable, is the fact that the interpreter has had to create his own scenario to explain the discrepancies away, hence compounding the deception upon the not so knowledgeable reader.
In the Bible, Gog are a people while Magog is a land. Ezekiel 38:2 " Son of man, set your face against Gog, the land of Magog, the chief prince of Meshech and Tubal, and prophesy against him," Also, Ezekiel's prophesies were in the 6th century BCE while Zul-Qarnain refers to Alexander the Great of the 4th who knew nothing about Gog or Magog ***

95 He said: "(The power) in which my Lord has established me is better (than tribute): help me therefore with strength (and labor): I will erect a strong barrier between you and them:
96 "Bring me blocks of iron." At length when he had filled up the space between the two steep mountain sides he said "Blow (with your bellows)." Then when he had made it (red) as fire he said: "Bring me that I may pour over it molten lead."
97 Thus were they made powerless to scale it or to dig through it.
98 He said: "This is a mercy from my Lord: but when the promise of my Lord comes to pass He will make it into dust; and the promise of My Lord is true."
99 On that day We shall leave them to surge like waves on one another; the trumpet will be blown and We shall collect them all together.
100 And We shall present Hell that day for Unbelievers to see all spread out
101 (Unbelievers) whose eyes had been under a veil from Remembrance of Me and who had been unable even to hear.
102 Do the Unbelievers think that they can take my servants as protectors besides Me? Verily We have prepared Hell for the Unbelievers for (their) entertainment.
103 Say: "Shall we tell you of those who lose most in respect of their deeds
104 "Those whose efforts have been wasted in this life while they thought that they were acquiring good by their works?"
105> They are those who deny the Signs of their Lord and the fact of their having to meet Him (in the Hereafter): vain will be their works nor shall We on the Day of Judgment give them any Weight.
106> That is their reward Hell; because they rejected Faith and took My Signs and My Messengers by way of jest.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Mohammad's Christmas Special

The Noble Quran - Mary, Mother of Jesus also the sister of Aaron and Moses

19:1 Kaf. Ha. Ya. A'in. Sad.
19:2 A mention of the mercy of thy Lord unto His servant Zachariah.
19:3 When he cried unto his Lord a cry in secret,
19:4 Saying: My Lord! Lo! the bones of me wax feeble and my head is shining with grey hair, and I have never been unblest in prayer to Thee, my Lord.
19:5 Lo! I fear my kinsfolk after me, since my wife is barren. Oh, give me from Thy presence a successor
19:6 Who shall inherit of me and inherit (also) of the house of Jacob. And make him, my Lord, acceptable (unto Thee).
19:7 (It was said unto him): O Zachariah! Lo! We bring thee tidings of a son whose name is John; we have given the same name to none before (him).
19:8 He said: My Lord! How can I have a son when my wife is barren and I have reached infirm old age ?
19:9 He said: So (it will be). Thy Lord saith: It is easy for Me, even as I created thee before, when thou wast naught.
19:10 He said: My Lord! Appoint for me some token. He said: Thy token is that thou, with no bodily defect, shalt not speak unto mankind three nights.
19:11 Then he came forth unto his people from the sanctuary, and signified to them: Glorify your Lord at break of day and fall of night.
19:12 (And it was said unto his son): O John! Hold fast the Scripture. And we gave him wisdom when a child,
19:13 And compassion from Our presence, and purity; and he was devout,
19:14 And dutiful toward his parents. And he was not arrogant, rebellious.
19:15 Peace on him the day he was born, and the day he dieth and the day he shall be raised alive!
19:16 And make mention of Mary in the Scripture, when she had withdrawn from her people to a chamber looking East,
19:17 And had chosen seclusion from them. Then We sent unto her Our Spirit and it assumed for her the likeness of a perfect man.
19:18 She said: Lo! I seek refuge in the Beneficent One from thee, if thou art God- fearing.
19:19 He said: I am only a messenger of thy Lord, that I may bestow on thee a faultless son.
19:20 She said: How can I have a son when no mortal hath touched me, neither have I been unchaste ?
19:21 He said: So (it will be). Thy Lord saith: It is easy for Me. And (it will be) that We may make of him a revelation for mankind and a mercy from Us, and it is a thing ordained.
19:22 And she conceived him, and she withdrew with him to a far place.
19:23 And the pangs of childbirth drove her unto the trunk of the palm-tree. She said: Oh, would that I had died ere this and had become a thing of naught, forgotten!
19:24 Then (one) cried unto her from below her, saying: Grieve not! Thy Lord hath placed a rivulet beneath thee,
19:25 And shake the trunk of the palm-tree toward thee, thou wilt cause ripe dates to fall upon thee.
19:26 So eat and drink and be consoled. And if thou meetest any mortal, say: Lo! I have vowed a fast unto the Beneficent, and may not speak this day to any mortal.
19:27 Then she brought him to her own folk, carrying him. They said: O Mary! Thou hast come with an amazing thing.
19:28 O sister of Aaron! Thy father was not a wicked man nor was thy mother a harlot.
19:29 Then she pointed to him. They said: How can we talk to one who is in the cradle, a young boy ?
19:30 He spake: Lo! I am the slave of Allah. He hath given me the Scripture and hath appointed me a Prophet,
19:31 And hath made me blessed wheresoever I may be, and hath enjoined upon me prayer and almsgiving so long as I remain alive, 19:32 And (hath made me) dutiful toward her who bore me, and hath not made me arrogant, unblest.
19:33 Peace on me the day I was born, and the day I die, and the day I shall be raised alive! 19:34 Such was Jesus, son of Mary: (this is) a statement of the truth concerning which they doubt.

There are two important errors from the above surah:

1) (9:23-25)Mary complains to a palm tree about the pains of childbirth. The tree tells her to shake its trunk and ripe dates will fall. - Based on the bible - this did not happen
2) (9:28) Mary, the mother of Jesus, was the sister of Aaron. (Apparently, Muhammad confused Mary with Miriam.) Mary and Jesus were thousands of years apart. How is it possible that Mary, mother of Jesus was also the sister of Moses and Aaron?

According to Ishaq, Mohammad (may peace be upon him) learned his stories from a young Christian boy

Ishaq 180: "According to my information, the Apostle often sat by a young Christian slave named Jabr. The Meccans said, ‘He is the one who teaches Muhammad most of what he brings.'" Then Allah revealed,
Qur'an 16:103
"We know what they (pagans) say: 'It is only a mortal man who teaches him (Muhammad). But the tongue of the man they wickedly point to is notably foreign, while this (Qur'an) is pure Arabic.'"
When accused of plagiarism, the best Mohammad and Allah could do was to claim that the Bible Jabr was quoting from wasn't written in Arabic. That's a problem. First, by responding to the Meccan's claim that Muhammad was out of his mind, a demon-possessed madman, plagiarizing scripture, the Qur'an confirmed that these were legitimate concerns.

If this is the case, there are three options that a Muslim must take.

1) Either Mohammad got the Quran by plagiarizing from a you Christian named Jabr, with clear errors from a slave whow as probably forced to tell the Prophet bible stories; or
2) Allah revealed to Mohammad surahs where Mohammad did not understand what was going, probably because he was preoccupied with being in the bed of Aisha (http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/04/mohammed-would-get-divine-inspiration.html) or reciting them when other Muslims were having sex (http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/07/quran-practicing-sex-while-quran-was.html); or

3) Once again, Mohammad is receiving divine revelations from Satan (why else would these surrahs be so blatantly false) http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/09/satan-reciting-quran-surahs.html

How else could the Quran be so wrong on such a logical fact? How can one trust there salvation based on such an eggregious lie? Can a Muslim trust that they would get 72 virgins in heaven if a) The quran was not revealed to Mohammad by Allah; b) Mohammad would get confused about important facts; or c) Allah would actively lie to Muslims?

These answers need real clarification, especially for all Muslims. Merry Christmas!
For more information, please see:

http://www.answering-islam.org/Responses/Menj/sister_of_aaron.htm

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Mohammad (may peace be upon him) the Quality Control Inspector

Volume 7, Book 67, Number 446:
Narrated Maimuna:
A mouse fell into the butter-fat and died. The Prophet was asked about that. He said, "Throw away the mouse and the butter-fat that surrounded it, and eat the rest of the butter-fat (As-Samn).

1) It seems that the Holy Prophet Mohammad never had any problems with dirty animals/insects falling into one's food. http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/07/dr-mohammad.html
a) At least the holy Prophet is not saying to turn the mouse upside down and bring it back up, like he prescribed with flies falling in a drink.
2) Does Holy Prophet Mohammad mean that only the area that is surrounding the mouse?
a) Or all areas that the mouse touched?
i) For instance, if the mouse fell into the vat of butter, shouldn't the entire entrance of where the mouse landed untill where it reses be also discarded?
b) How about if the butter was being churned? How would one know which part of the butter had been touching the mouse if the butter was constantly being churned?
c) What if mouse hair gets mixed around all over the butter? How would the butter manufacturer know?
3) Does this mean that followers of Mohammad (may peace be upon him) cannot sue companies that allow cockroaches to fall into their foodstuffs if the manufacturers just throw away the cockroaches and the part it touches?
a) Damn, this could have been the next major lawsuit that Muslims all over the world could have litigated against western imperialists for conducting their business in a way that did not accord with the hadith. http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/06/one-must-not-face-qibla-in-taking-dump.html
b) However, this presents an opportunity for a young and enterprising lawyer in Muslim countries to sue Muslim companies operating throughout the world for not conforming with the Hadith, or for someone to sue any company in a Muslim country who did not follow the Holy Prophet Mohammad's (may peace be upon him) epic quality control tests

Friday, December 19, 2008

Allah taught Adam all the names, down to fart and little fart.

Tabari I:267 "And He [Allah] taught Adam all the names as follows: He taught him the name of everything, down to fart and little fart." And Adam told each kind of creature about its name and referred it to its genus. Allah said, 'I know what you do not know.'" No kidding. You're pretending to be god. "If we [angels] are not better than Adam is, we are at least more knowledgeable because we existed before him, and the nations were created before him."

1) How could the nations have been created before the first man?

2) Why did Tabari make it a point to mention that Allah taught Adam fart and little fart?
a) How does one say "little fart"?
b) Did Allah want to make sure that Adam knew that if some one made a little hadath, he would have to restart prayer?

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Allah does not accept prayer of anyone of you if he does Hadath (passes wind) till he performs the ablution (anew)." Sahih Bukhari 9:86:86

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Romantic lines to say when making love to your wife

Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 493:

Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:The Prophet said, "If anyone of you, when having sexual relation with his wife, say: 'In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us from Satan and prevent Satan from approaching our offspring you are going to give us,' and if he begets a child (as a result of that relation) Satan will not harm it."

And just remember, the Quran was revealed while the first Muslims would practice having sex. http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/07/quran-practicing-sex-while-quran-was.html

1) When Muslims say Mohammad is about love, do they mean love making?
2) Do Muslims say this line when they have sex with their wives?
a) If Muslims don't say this, could this be a reason why the devil lives in Muslim noses?

Sahih Muslim 2: 462: Abu Huraira reported: The Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) said. When any one of you awakes up from sleep and performs ablution, he must clean his nose three times, for the devil spends the night in the interior of his nose.

b) Is this why Allah's Apostle had a devil attached to him, because his father, Abdallah (slave to Allah before Mohammad brought Allah - more proof that Allah was already worshipped in Mecca before Mohammad) did not say those lines when he conceived the Holy Prophet (may peace be upon to him)

Sahi MuslimBook 039, Number 6759: A'isha the wife of Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him), reported that one day Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) came out of her (apartment) during the night and she felt jealous. Then he came and he saw me (in what agitated state of mind) I was. He said: A'isha, what has happened to you? Do you feel jealous? Thereupon she said: How can it he (that a woman like me) should NOT feel jealous in regard to a husband like you. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: It was your devil who had come to you, and she said: Allah's Mes- senger, is there along with me a devil? He said: Yes. I said: Is devil attached to everyone? He said: Yes. I (Aisha) again said: Allah's Messenger, is it with you also? He said: Yes, but my Lord has helped me against him and as such I am ab solutely safe from his mischief. http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/06/aisha-jealous-of-mohammed-womanizer.html

c) What is the story of Mohammad's conception?
i) Why don't Muslims know this story? It truly is a beautiful story where a prostitute, who was also a soothsayer (someone dabbling in a Satanic cult) saw a light in Abdallah's face (Mohammad's father (may peace be upon him)) and wanted Abdallah to impregnate her. The following passages describe how Abdallah came to be - he was spared where his father, Abdul Muttalib cast divining arrows for Allah to spare his son's life, and then sacrifieced many camels:

Ishaq:67 "When Abdul Muttalib had ten sons grown to maturity and he knew that they would protect him, he told them of his vow, and called on them to keep faith with Allah in this matter. They expressed their obedience, and asked what they should do. He replied, 'Let every one of you take an arrow, write his name on it, and bring it to me.' They did this, and he went into the presence of Hubal in the interior of the Ka'aba. Hubal was the greatest of the idols of Quraysh in Mecca."

Tabari VI:2 "By Allah! You shall never sacrifice him but you must get an excuse for not doing so. There is a sorceress who has a familiar spirit; ask her, and you will know what to do. If she commands you to sacrifice him, you will sacrifice him, and if she commands you to do something which offers relief to you and to him, you can accept it. So they went to Medina where they discovered that the sorceress had moved to Khaybar. They rode until they reached her. She said, 'Retire from me until my familiar spirit visits me and I can ask him. Abdul Muttalib stood and prayed to Allah. On the following day they went back. She said, 'Yes! News has come to me. How much is the blood-money among you.' They replied, 'Ten camels.' She said, 'Bring forward the young man and ten camels, and cast arrows. If they fall against the boy, add camels until your Lord is satisfied.'"

Tabari VI:5 "They returned to Mecca when they had all agreed on the matter, Abdul Muttalib stood and prayed to Allah inside the Ka'aba beside Hubal. The arrows fell against Abdallah, so they added ten camels, making twenty. With Muttalib standing and praying to Allah they went on this way ten times. Each time the arrows fell against Abdallah. Abdul Muttalib stood beside Hubal in the interior of the Ka'aba, calling upon Allah. The custodian of the arrows took and cast them, and the lot fell against Abdallah. So Muttalib took Abdallah by the hand. He grabbed a large knife. Then he went up to the idols Isaf and Nailah [the fornicating stones] who Quraysh used to slaughter their sacrifices, to sacrifice Abdullah.Your Lord is satisfied at last. The camels were slaughtered and left there. No man or wild beast was turned back from eating them."

And now for the moment of truth - Mohammad's conceptions:

"Abdul Muttalib took Abdallah by the hand. It is alleged they passed by Umm Qattal bt. Abd al-Uzza [Slave-to-the-goddess-al-Uzza], the sister of Waraqa [the Hanif]. She was by the Ka'aba. When she looked at his face she said, 'Where are you going, Abdallah? I have seen many camels slaughtered for you, so sleep with me now.'"

Tabari VI:6 "It is alleged that he consummated his marriage to her there as soon as he married her, that he lay with her and that she conceived Muhammad; then he left her presence and came to the woman who had propositioned him, and said to her, 'Why do you not make the same proposition to me today which you made to me yesterday?'" (To which she replied) "The light which was with you yesterday has left you, and I have no need of you today. She had heard about this from her brother Waraqa bin Nawfal, who was a [Hanif turned] Christian and had studied the scriptures; he had discovered that a prophet from the descendants of Ishmael was to be sent to this people; this had been one of the purposes of his study."

So there you have it:

Prophet Mohammad's father did not say the words above, and as such, The Holy Prophet Mohammad (may peace be unto him) admittedly had a devil attached to him. That is why, as anonymous blogger so vehemently pointed out to me, that jinn means devils in Arabic (http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/11/mohammad-and-first-privacy-laws.html) [S/he also wanted to be read by millions - i wish him or her good luck], and that is why the holy Prophet may have liked the company of nice Jinns (or devils according to the aforementioned anonymous blogger)http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/animal-dung-is-food-of-jinns.html

d) Does Bukhari include this verse to instruct Muslims on how to make love to their wife(wives) so that they may have children that wont be harmed by Satan?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Allah's Apostle bastardizing a Christian parable II

Mohammad (may peace be upon him) was great at plagiarizing alomst anything he found. http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/09/allah-misunderstanding-and-bastardizing.html
Once again, Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him), where as usual, plagiarized, and bastardized one of Jesus' parable with the following hadith:

Volume 3, Book 36, Number 469:
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar bin Al-Khattab:
Allah's Apostle said, "Your example and the example of Jews and Christians is like the example of a man who employed some laborers to whom he said, 'Who will work for me up to midday for one Qirat each?' The Jews carried out the work for one Qirat each; and then the Christians carried out the work up to the 'Asr prayer for one Qirat each; and now you Muslims are working from the 'Asr prayer up to sunset for two Qirats each. The Jews and Christians got angry and said, 'We work more and are paid less.' The employer (Allah) asked them, 'Have I usurped some of your right?' They replied in the negative. He said, 'That is My Blessing, I bestow upon whomever I wish.' "

Now this is what the actual scripture said:

Laborers in the vineyard.
(The laborers who received equal pay) In the work of a man's salvation so little is fulfilled by the man himself that it is not even worthwhile to talk about the reward for one’s works. For an example, the Lord told about the laborers who received pay above their work.

"For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire labourers into his vineyard. And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the market place, And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way. Again he went out about the sixth hour and ninth hour, and did likewise. And about the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle? They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive. So when the even was come, the lord of the vineyard saith unto his steward, Call the labourers, and give them their hire, beginning from the last unto the first. And when they came that were hired about the eleventh hour, they received every man a penny. But when the first came, they supposed that they should have received more; and they likewise received every man a penny. And when they had received it, they murmured against the goodman of the house, Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day. But he answered one of them, and said, friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny? Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last, even as unto thee. Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good? So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen" (Mt. 20:1-16).

What the Christian Parable Meant:

For the Jews, the first hour was equal to 6 a.m. today, and the eleventh hour to 5 p.m. When the lord of the vineyard paid the laborers, he did not give more to those who worked from daybreak but paid the same amount to everyone. Those who had come earlier received their pay as they had agreed, and the latecomers received the same amount out of the lord's kindness. In this parable the Lord teaches us that the grace of God and that eternal life are given to people not on the basis of a mathematical calculation of their works or the time that they have belonged to the Church, but out of God's grace. The Jews thought that they had been the first members of the kingdom of the Messiah and deserved a greater reward than the Christians who joined this kingdom later. But God's measure of righteousness is totally different.

On His scales, sincerity, assiduity, genuine love, humbleness are more precious than the external and formal side of human activity. The penitent thief who, in the last hours of his life, so fully and sincerely repented on the cross and so wholeheartedly believed in the outcast and suffering Savior, received the Kingdom of Heaven alongside the righteous who had served God since early childhood. God gives mercy to all for the sake of His Only-Begotten Son, not for the sake of their merits. Here lies the hope for the sinners who can attract God's mercy and eternal salvation with one repentant sigh coming out of the depths of a torn soul. The good works of a man and his Christian way of life are the witness of his sincere religious persuasions; they strengthen the gracious gifts received within him, but they do not constitute a service to God in the legal meaning of this word.

What the Muslim Hadith meant:

"and now you Muslims are working from the 'Asr prayer up to sunset for two Qirats each. The Jews and Christians got angry and said, 'We work more and are paid less.' The employer (Allah) asked them, 'Have I usurped some of your right?' They replied in the negative. He said, 'That is My Blessing, I bestow upon whomever I wish.' "

Here, Mohammad is saying that God gives to Muslims twice as much to Christians and Jews, implicitly because Muslims follow Mohammad.

The differences between the Christian parable and the Muslim Hadith:

The Christian parable talks about how there is one reward to all those who follow God, and it is equal, for people of all nations. As well, it is faith that saves.

The Muslim hadith says that Muslims are rewarded better because they follow Mohammad, a man who managed to break everysingle one of God's 10 Commandments, http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/10/suicidal-mohammad.html; who married women after he killed their husbands, fathers, brothers, in battle (only if they were the prettiest in the world) http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/response-to-mr-himed.html; practiced black magic, and where war booty was made legal for him http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/10/mohammad-witch-doctor-part-2-halloween.html.

The questions that need to be answered:

1) Why don't Muslims know about this parable?
a) Is it because Muslims are forbidden to read the Injil (New Testament)?
b) Is it because the Injil makes more logical sense than the Quran?
c) Is it because the Injil actually preaches peaces and love to all people, even if they dont follow God, where the Quran preaches death to all those who do not follow Allah, except for Christians and Jews who are forced to pay an exhorbitant tax called the Jizya, and forced into Islam through humiliation?
i) Why would the Quran want people to convert through humiliation and subjugation rather than reason, logic and love?
ii) Is it because Allah, and his Quran are unreasonable, illogical and full of hate?

2) Why do Muslims get twice as much a reward as other believers in the Muslim god Allah?
a) Is it because Mohammad (may peace be upon him) knew that the only way for himto get followers is through bribery?

Bukhari:V4B53N375
"When Allah favored His Apostle with the properties of the Hawazin tribe as Fai booty, he started giving to some of the Meccan men up to one-hundred camels each. Whereupon some Ansari said, 'May Allah forgive His Apostle! He is giving to the Quraysh and leaving us out, in spite of the fact that our swords are still dripping with the blood of the infidels.' When Muhammad was informed of what they had said, he called for the Ansar and gathered them in a leather tent. 'What is the statement which I have been informed, and that which you have said.' [He meant: "What did you say?"] The smart ones replied, 'O Allah's Apostle! The wise ones did not say anything, but the youngsters said, "May Allah forgive His Apostle; he enriches the Quraysh and leaves the Ansar poor, in spite of the fact that Ansar swords are still dribbling with the blood of the infidels..' The Prophet replied, 'I give them more because they are still close to the period of Infidelity and have just recently embraced Islam. You should be pleased to see them becoming rich.' The Ansar replied, 'Yes, O Allah's Apostle, we are satisfied.'"

The moral of the story is: You have to bribe men to make them Muslims and then threaten them to keep them that way.

3) What is the Muslim paradise? - 72 virgins http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/11/pick-up-lines-for-muslim-martyrs.html
a) What is the Christian heaven? Being close with God
b) What is the Muslim hell? Being close with Allah, where he tortures infidels:

The Noble Quran: 104.005 “And what will explain to you what the Consuming One is! It is the fire kindled by Allah which leaps up over them penetrating the hearts of men. It shall be made to vault over them. Lo, it has closed in on them. In pillars outstretched.”

Allah, admittedly, is in Hell kindling the fire.

Qur’an 68:44 “Then leave Me alone with such as reject this Message and call Our pronouncements a lie. Systematically by degrees, step by step, We shall punish them in ways they can not even imagine.”

Qur’an 89:23 “For His [Allah’s] chastisement will be such as no other can inflict. None punishes as He will punish! None can bind as He will bind.”

Allah delights in personally handing out torture - just like Satan!!

c) Qur'an 21:29 "If any of them should say, 'I am an ilah (god) besides Him.' such a one We should reward with Hell."

If Allah is right, then Jesus is burning in hell - which is indeed where the Allah would like to see him (Muslims must accept the Injil if they are following in the footsteps of Judaism and Christianity). But then again, since hell is separation from God, it wouldn't be hell any more.

i) Does this mean that the Holy Prophet Mohammad (may peace be upon him) is bribing men with booty, sex, and other things to go to the opposite place of where God truly lives?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

During the Ramadan fast, it is OK to suck your young wife's tongue, provided you are an old man

Book 13, Number 2380:
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin:
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) used to kiss her and suck her tongue when he was fasting.

Book 13, Number 2381:
Narrated AbuHurayrah:
A man asked the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) whether one who was fasting could embrace (his wife) and he gave him permission; but when another man came to him, and asked him, he forbade him. The one to whom he gave permission was an old man and the one whom he forbade was a youth.

Book 13, Number 2390:
Narrated AbuHurayrah:
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If anyone breaks his fast one day in Ramadan without a concession granted to him by Allah, a perpetual fast will not atone for it.

From the above three hadiths, one quickly becomes aware that Mohammad (may peace be upon him) used to love sucking on Aisha's tongue while he was fasting. In fact, he just liked to suck, period! (http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/07/mohammad-original-kfc-colonel.html)

Ignoring the sexual aspects of the Holy Prophet Mohammad (May peace be upon him) breaking his own fasting rules to suck on a little girl's tongue - which has already been discussed ad nauseum throughout the blog, the author wants to show that a young Muslim man is being discriminated by Mohammad in favour of older Muslim men.

1) Why does Mohammad (SAW) allow old Muslim men to break the fast and engage in sexual activities with their wives but not allow young men to do the same?
a) Is it because Mohammad (SAW) himself was old?
b) Is it because he viewed young men as competition - (How so, he was Allah's Apostle - why else would he forbid Muslims from marrying any of his widows after his death?)
c) Is it because old people really would not care as much about his rules, especially since they had been experienced in life?

2) If you break a the Ramadan fast for one day, Muslim Male, without a concession granted to him by Allah, a perpetual fast will not atone for it.
a) Allah is the most merciful, most kind.
b) Allah will never forgive you, even if you made a perpetual fast, for breaking the Ramadan fast for one day.
c) Allah is the most merciful, most kind.
d) Allah's Apostle broke the Ramadan fast by invading Makka during Ramadan.
e) Will Allah forgive Mohammad for breaking the Ramadan fast by invading Makka during Ramadan?
f) Will Allah forgive you for sucking on your wife (or wives) tongue(s) during Ramadan?
g) Allah will never forgive you, even if you made a perpetual fast, for breaking the Ramadan fast for one day.
h) Allah is the most merciful, most kind.
i) Will Allah forgive the Holy Prophet Mohammad (may peace be upon him), the greatest man to have ever lived?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Pick-up lines for Muslim Martyrs

Sahih Muslim: Book 020, Number 4705:
It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the, Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: While a man walks along a path, finds a thorny twig lying on the way and puts it aside, Allah would appreciate it and forgive him. The Holy Prophet (may peace be upon him) said: The martyrs are of five kinds: one who dies of plague; one who dies of diarrhoea (or cholera) ; one who is drowned; one who is buried under debris and one who dies fighting in the way of Allah.

The quran promises 72 virgins for a Muslim martyr (which Allah's Apostle defined above). Their are many questions that need to be answered concerning 72 virgins (http://www.wikiislam.com/wiki/72_Questions_About_The_72_Virgins) As well, it should be noted that Allah's Apostle was truly a forward thinker, an innovater as he changed the meaning of martyr from the western understanding where it is a victim who is either: "a person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion" or "a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle"

But, in Allah's Apostle's infinite sexual superiority over all people (like his sexual strength of 30 men - [http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/mohammad-had-sexual-strength-of-30-men.html]) Allah's Apostle (SAW) did not tell Holy Muslim Martyrs how to approach these hourys.

However, as a favor to all Muslim martyrs, the author of this blog has come up with some conversational lines (pick-up lines) to help get these divine helpers of Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) to break the ice with these ladies with perpetual virginity [unless ofcourse, they were meant to be perpetual virgins and not meant to be conquered by the holy martyrs - now that would be a shock - imagine dying for Allah and his Apostle, promised 72 beautiful perpetual virgins, and they would be perpetual only because you could not touch them? That would be a fate worse than Hell, which coincidentally is where Allah lives, torturing his creation who he pre-destined not to follow him)

1) One who dies of Plague

- I want to go bubonic on yo' ass
- Damn, you know I'm contagious
- Come here girl, it's not like I've got coodies

2) One who dies of diarrhoea (or cholera)

- Hey baby, you know I can't keep my love in when I see you

3) One who is drowned

- Hey sweet thang, I drowned as practice to hold my breath when I get to be with you.

4) One who is buried under debris

- You know, I want to bury my head between your legs (yeah this was dirty, but something Allah's Apostle [may peace be upon him] would enjoy)
- Baby, I love to play hide and seek.

5) One who dies fighting in the way of Allah.

- I'm a lover, not a fighter. Wait take that back, I'm a fighter, not a lover. Wait, that's no good, let's put this way, I'm rough in the sack.
- You know, I'm lke a firecracker, you know I'll explode

Hope these help. Please feel free to send n more suggestions as help for Islamic Martyrs!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Mohammad predicted in the Bible (Tawrat (Old Testament))

Was Holy Prophet Mohammad (May Peace Be upon Him) Predicted in the Tawrat? Apparently YES!

The vision Holy Prophet Isaiah saw is eerily similar to how the Holy Prophet Mohammad started his prophetic mission, and the effects it caused those following him:

"The whole vision has become to you like the words of a book that is sealed, which men deliver to one who is literate, saying, 'Read this, please.'And he says, 'I cannot, for it is sealed.'
Then the book is delivered to one who is illiterate, saying, “Read this, please.”
And he says, 'I am not literate.'Therefore the Lord said:'Inasmuch as these people draw near with their mouths. And honor Me 'with their lips, But have removed their hearts far from Me, And their fear toward Me is taught by the commandment of men, Therefore, behold, I will again do a marvelous work. Among this people, a marvelous work and a wonder; For the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, And the understanding of their prudent men shall be hidden.'" Isaiah 29:11-14

How Islam started:
BukhariVolume 9, Book 87, Number 111: Narrated 'Aisha:
The angel came to him in it and asked him to read. The Prophet replied, "I do not know how to read." (The Prophet added), "The angel caught me (forcefully) and pressed me so hard that I could not bear it anymore. He then released me and again asked me to read, and I replied, "I do not know how to read," whereupon he caught me again and pressed me a second time till I could not bear it anymore. He then released me and asked me again to read, but again I replied, "I do not know how to read (or, what shall I read?)." Thereupon he caught me for the third time and pressed me and then released me and said, "Read: In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists). Has created man from a clot. Read and Your Lord is Most Generous...up to..... ..that which he knew not." (96.15)

The start of Islam was already discussed earlier when discussing How Holy Prophet Mohammad (May Peace beUpon Him) was a disturbed individual contemplating suicide many times (http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/10/suicidal-mohammad.html)

But the above verse from Isaiah and Aisha's account seem very similar. Isaiah foresaw someone receiving a book, who could not read. He still managed to deliver a message where people worship a god, where they do so by their words, but their spirits are far from God. This is like Mohammad's teachings which are more bodily rather than spiritual:
http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/04/one-cannot-pray-until-they-wash.html
http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/06/one-must-not-face-qibla-in-taking-dump.html
http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/mohammad-sends-men-to-murder-abu-rafi.html

The results of Isaiah's prophecy are strikingly similar to the Muslim world, where all individual thought is suppressed (http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/06/mohammad-forbid-muslims-to-play-chess.html); common sense and decency thrown out the window (http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/06/mohallel-islams-version-of-please-bang.html)
and so many other things, like issuing fatwas about whether Old Muslim men can thigh their young, pre-menstrating brides before sex in order so that they could get off:
http://www.islamweb.net/ver2/Fatwa/ShowFatwa.php?lang=A&Id=3907&Option=FatwaId&x=46&y=11
(The English translation of the Fatwah is provided in comment 1)
or how a man must be suckled by a woman who is not his relative in order to work togethor in the same office as her (http://www.westernresistance.com/blog/archives/003748.html). (Ofcourse, this was a result of where Mohammad forbid adoption so he could marry his former adopted son's wife)

What does this mean? Praise be to Allah! Mohammad (May Peace be upon him) was predicted!!! The Tawrat was right!!!

There are three possible scenarios that come from this
1) If one believes that Isaiah's message has been corrupted, please see the following video at: http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/09/interesting-video-on-corruption-of.html
2) If one thinks this is a logical fallacy and assert that Bukhari, and Muslim, holy Hadith writers had access to the Tawrat verses in question, and inserted this verse to show that Holy Prophet Mohammad was predicted, then it implicitly means that Holy Hadith authors were making fun of Prophet Mohammad and the society that he brought
3) If one thinks the Tawrat is authentic, and that Holy Hadith writers did not know about this verse or were reporting the truth, then maybe Illah (the real Arabic word for God - Allah is a name of a god in the original pagan kabba - afterall, Mohammad's father's name was AbdAllah [slave to the moon god named Allah]) foretold of Holy Prophet Mohammad in a negative way.

Afterall Mohammad cavorted with a race of Jinn, (demonic spirits) and as a favour to them, only managed to get the Jinn animal dung or bone because they were such nice Jinn. How much would he do for you, as an individual, if you follow him?http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/animal-dung-is-food-of-jinns.html

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dream Interpretation: Oh Allah's Apostle... Sexual as always...

Sahih Bukhari 1:2:22

Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: Allah's Apostle said, "While I was sleeping I saw (in a dream) some people wearing shirts of which some were reaching up to the breasts only while others were even shorter than that. Umar bin Al-Khattab was shown wearing a shirt that he was dragging." The people asked, "How did you interpret it? (What is its interpretation) O Allah's Apostle?" He (the Prophet ) replied, "It is the Religion."

So what is the religion, I dare ask? People wearing shirts up to the breasts?

RELIGION INDEED!!!!

1) Was Allah's Apostle the inventor of the wet T-Shirt contest?
a) Why was Allah's Apostle dreaming about people wearing shirts up to their breasts, and "even shorter than that"?
b) Was Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) dreaming of hot girls?

c) Are hot girls part of the Apostle's religion?

i) Especially where Allah's Apostle would get divine revelations while he slept with his child bride Aisha (aka receiving Quran surahs)http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/04/mohammed-would-get-divine-inspiration.html

2) Could one make the argument that Allah's Apostle was just a really horny guy?

a) Did Allah's Apostle constantly have sex on his mind?

b) Especially where he had the sexual strength of 30 men? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/mohammad-had-sexual-strength-of-30-men.html

c) Where the first Muslims were so intrigued by all the semen that he produced and the method he would use to clean himself from all that semen? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/mohammad-sends-men-to-murder-abu-rafi.html

d) The fact that he decided not divore his old and fat wife Sauda on condition that she gave up her turn in the sack? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/10/it-is-ok-to-divorce-your-wives-if-they.html

e) How he made a rule that WOMEN MUST SHAVE THEIR PUBIC REGIONS, in addition to shaving their palms, etc.? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/muslim-must-have-hairless-palms-and.html

f) His many conquests? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/response-to-mr-himed.html

i) So many conquests of women that "When Abu Sufyan learned that the Prophet had taken her, he said, 'That stallion's nose is not to be restrained!'"Tabari VIII:110

g) That the apostle made sure that wives have to be submissive to a husband's call for sex? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/07/wives-sex-toys-for-husbands.html

h) Or just because the Allah's Apostle "was the sexual libertine that we all know and worship" http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/07/mohammad-original-kfc-colonel.html

3) To quote Allah's Apostle (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) "It is the Religion."

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Dream interpretation of a black woman

Bukhari Volume 9, Book 87, Number 163:
Narrated Salim's father The Prophet said, "I saw (in a dream) a black woman with unkempt hair going out of Medina and settling in Mahai'a. I interpreted that as (a symbol of) epidemic of Medina being transferred to Mahai'a, namely, Al-Juhfa."

When Prophet Mohammad dreamt of a black woman in his dream, he disparaged blacks once more to show that black people are a sign of epidemic.

http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/04/mohammad-racist.html

http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/satan-looks-like-nabtal-sturdy-black.html

So what does this mean?

1) If you have a dream about Halle Berry, does this mean that you an epidemic will befall you?

a) Does this mean that you are a pervert if you think about black women?

b) Does Mohammad implicitly say that dreaming of black women is morally wrong as thinking about black women are a form of epidemic?

c) That black women are a bad omen?

d) Or just black people in general?

2) Does Mohammad say this because he viewed black women as ugly?
a) Did Mohammad (May peace be upon him) get a venereal disease after sleeping with one of the black women?

b) Or just get rejected by black women?

3) Is this Dr. Mohammad again, dterming that an epidemic will occur when one starts to thinking of black women?

http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/09/dr-mohammad-part-iv-case-of-lying.html

http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/dr-mohammad-part-iii.html

http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/07/dr-mohammad-part-ii.html

http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/07/dr-mohammad.html

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Mohammad and the first privacy laws...

Volume 9, Book 83, Number 38a:
Narrated Anas:
A man peeped into one of the dwelling places of the Prophet. The Prophet got up and aimed a sharp-edged arrow head (or wooden stick) at him to poke him stealthily.

Volume 9, Book 83, Number 38:
Narrated Sahl bin Sa'd As-Sa'idi:
A man peeped through a hole in the door of Allah's Apostle's house, and at that time, Allah's Apostle had a Midri (an iron comb or bar) with which he was rubbing his head. So when Allah's Apostle saw him, he said (to him), "If I had been sure that you were looking at me (through the door), I would have poked your eye with this (sharp iron bar)." Allah's Apostle added, "The asking for permission to enter has been enjoined so that one may not look unlawfully (at what there is in the house without the permission of its people)."

1) Was Mohammad a privacy advocate?
a) Did Mohammad not like it when people would peep into his house?
b) Why would Mohammad (may peace be upon him) be angry about this when he is the most perfect human being ever, and everyone wanted to know how he conducted his private life to be like him?

2) Does this mean that Mohammad hates spyware?
a) Does he command Muslims to go to spyware disseminators and poke their eyes out?
b) How about the eyes of government officials who spy on people?
c) Does Mohammad hate "Big Brother"?
d) Would the Big Mo poke out "Big Brother's" eyes out?

3) Why did Mohammad hate it when people watched him in his house?
a) He did not mind it when Abu Aiyub Al-Ansari and 'Abdullah bin 'Umar watched Mohammad take a dump? Were they the original religious voyeurs? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/06/one-must-not-face-qibla-in-taking-dump.html
b) How about by the fact that Sulaiman bin Yasar would always inquire about Mohammad's semen stains to Aisha? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/mohammad-had-lots-of-semen-on-his.html
c) Does this mean it is okay to spy on someone feces, but not personal lives?
d) I am so confused??? Why did Allah's Apostle not get upset at the latter two, but get angry about someone watching him through a peephole?

4) Was Mohammad merciful?
a) If he poked his eye out?
b) Should all Muslims poke out eyes of people inquiring about their business?

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Mohammad the witch doctor - Part 2 - The Halloween version

Qur'an 113:1-5 "Say: I seek refuge in the Lord of the dawn; From the evil of what He has created; From the mischievous evil of Darkness as it becomes intensely dark, and from the mischief of those who practice the evil of malignant witchcraft and blowing on knots, and from the mischievous evil of the envier when he covets."

It is clear that Allah told his Apostle to avoid blowing on knots and other malignant witchcraft. So how did Mohammad (may peace be upon him) cure himself?

By blowing on knots and performing other malignant witchcraft...

Volume 5, Book 59, Number 714:
Narrated 'Aisha:
Whenever Allah's Apostle became ill, he used to recite Al-Muawidhatan (i.e. the last two Suras of the Qur'an) and then blow his breath and passed his hand over himself. When he had his fatal illness, I started reciting Al-Muawidhatan and blowing my breath over him as he used to do, and then I rubbed the hand of the Prophet over his body.

Volume 8, Book 75, Number 331:
Narrated 'Aisha:
Whenever Allah's Apostle went to bed, he used to blow on his hands while reciting the Mu'auwidhat ( i.e. Suratal-Falaq and Surat-an-Nas, 113 and 114) and then pass his hands over his body,

Volume 7, Book 71, Number 643:
Narrated Abu Qatada:
I heard the Prophet saying, "A good dream is from Allah, and a bad dream is from Satan. So if anyone of you sees (in a dream) something he dislikes, when he gets up he should blow thrice (on his left side) and seek refuge with Allah from its evil for then it will not harm him."

Volume 2, Book 21, Number 243:
Narrated Abu Huraira
Allah's Apostle said, "Satan puts three knots at the back of the head of any of you if he is asleep. On every knot he reads and exhales the following words, 'The night is long, so stay asleep.' When one wakes up and remembers Allah, one knot is undone; and when one performs ablution, the second knot is undone, and when one prays the third knot is undone and one gets up energetic with a good heart in the morning; otherwise one gets up lazy and with a mischievous heart."

From the above hadiths, we get the sense that Mohammad would cure himself by blowing knots, or for curing bad dreams or other things. In fact, Mohammad liked blowing so much, he preferred these cures much more than the conventional medicine of his day:

Bukhari; Volume 7, Book 71, Number 610:
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas and 'Aisha:
Abu Bakr kissed (the forehead of) the Prophet when he was dead. 'Aisha added: We put medicine in one side of his mouth but he started waving us not to insert the medicine into his mouth. We said, "He dislikes the medicine as a patient usually does." But when he came to his senses he said, "Did I not forbid you to put medicine (by force) in the side of my mouth?" We said, "We thought it was just because a patient usually dislikes medicine." He said, "None of those who are in the house but will be forced to take medicine in the side of his mouth while I am watching, except Al-'Abbas, for he had not witnessed your deed."

As well, an enchanter said of Mohammad, 'I have never seen a greater magician than I have seen today' (Tabari VI:66); and the original meccans would call Mohammad "a sorcerer telling lies" (038.004 YUSUFALI)

http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/09/mohammad-witch-doctor.html

Finally Prophet Mohammad would hang out with Satan's tribe, the Jinn (http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/animal-dung-is-food-of-jinns.html), Mohammad was inspired by Satan to recite Quran surahs, and even Satan recited quran surah

http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/09/satan-reciting-quran-surahs.html, and Mohammad was stopped by Sulaiman's spirit in a wrestling match with Iblis http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/04/king-sulaiman-sided-withiblis-devil.html.

1) Based on the above, does this mean that Mohammad preferred magic?

2) Does this mean that the Quran tells Muslims to run away from Mohammad, as Mohammad would practice black magic?

3) Why was Mohammad always hanging out with sorcerors and devils?

a) Is it because he liked their company more than the company of people?

b) Or were these demonic people the original Halloween ghosts?

c) Would Prophet Mohammad (may peace be upon him) go trick or trating with all these Jinns?

4) Did Mohammad confuse trick or treating with war booty?

a) Volume 1, Book 7, Number 331:
Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:

The Prophet said, "I have been given five things which were not given to any one else before me. - 3. The booty has been made Halal (lawful) for me yet it was not lawful for anyone else before me.

5) Was Prophet Mohammad (may peace be upon him) a witch doctor where he practiced all these magic cures?

a) Especially where Prophet Mohammad would perform these magical rituals with such zeal, but detest conventional medicine?

6) Did Bukhari include all of these hadiths to show that Mohammad may have been the original founder of Halloween?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

It is ok to divorce your wives if they become old and fat, unless they give their turn for sex to someone younger

Abu Dawud vol.2 no.2130 p.572

When Sauda was old she was afraid Mohammed would divorce her, so she gave her turn to ‘A’isha.

So who was Sauda?

Bukhari: Volume 6, Book 60, Number 318:
Narrated Aisha:
Sauda (the wife of the Prophet) went out to answer the call of nature after it was made obligatory (for all the Muslims ladies) to observe the veil. She was a fat huge lady, and everybody who knew her before could recognize her. So 'Umar bin Al-Khattab saw her and said, "O Sauda! By Allah, you cannot hide yourself from us, so think of a way by which you should not be recognized on going out. Sauda returned while Allah's Apostle was in my house taking his supper and a bone covered with meat was in his hand. She entered and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I went out to answer the call of nature and 'Umar said to me so-and-so." Then Allah inspired him (the Prophet) and when the state of inspiration was over and the bone was still in his hand as he had not put in down, he said (to Sauda), "You (women) have been allowed to go out for your needs." (it was because of Sauda's that the veil was forced on all women - http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/04/hijab-was-revealed-because-umar-wanted.html)

And what did Allah say about this situation, where Mohammad did not want to have sex with Sauda anymore?

Quran 004.128 YUSUFALI: If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practise self-restraint, Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.
(In other words, Allah approved Sauda giving up her sexual turn to Aisha)

1) Does this mean that women should start getting in better shape in their old age to make sure that their husband's don't threaten to divorce them, or starting giving up their turn?
a) Does Allah's Apostle encourage the use of Botox?
b) How about liposuction?
c) Would Allah's Apostle have accepted Sauda if she got liposuction, botox and plastic surgery?
d) Is Prophet Mohammad's dreamgirl Pamela Anderson?

2) Once again Allah's Apostle's sexual desires are met http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/allah-works-to-make-sure-mohammads.html:
a) Could this be a reason why the oversexed Prophet had so many semen stains? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/mohammad-had-lots-of-semen-on-his.html
b) Did Mohammad need to make sure he not have sex with Sauda anymore so that he could keep up his sexual strength of having a sexual libido of 30 men (being the greatest lover-prophet ever)?
Bukhari,Volume 1, Book 5, Number 268: “Prophet was given the strength (sexual) of thirty men”.

3) Is this why Aisha liked Sauda so much, because she did not have to compete with her for the Prophet's sexual attention?
http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/06/aisha-jealous-of-mohammed-womanizer.html

4) I once had an argument with Mr. Himed who told me that Prophet Mohammad was charitable for marrying Sauda... http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/response-to-mr-himed.html
a)The question that now needs to be answered is why Mohammad married Sauda in the first place? She was a widow that took care of his children after Khadija died, and 3 years before he could finally have sex with his child bride Aisha.
b) Does this mean that all of Prophet Mohammad's actions were sexually motivated?
i) The minute Mohammad no longer needs a women, he discards them?
ii) Mohammad needs women to constantly beautify themselves? http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/muslim-must-have-hairless-palms-and.html

5) Does Abu Dawud include this hadith to show what type of morality Mohammad had?
a) After all, Abu Dawud states that divorce is detestable for Allah, where Mohammad divorced many women, and that in this case, he did not divorce Sauda only because she gave up her turn to Aisha, despite knowing how detestable this action is for Allah?

Book 12, Number 2173:
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar:
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce.

b) Does this mean that Allah's Apostle never cared about what Allah thought about, especially when it came to satisfying his sexual desires?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Mohammad outlaws eating donkey meat because he did not get his share of war booty

Sahih Bukhari: Volume 4, Book 53, Number 383:
Narrated Ibn Abi Aufa:
We were afflicted with hunger during the besiege of Khaibar, and when it was the day of (the battle of) Khaibar, we slaughtered the donkeys and when the pots got boiling (with their meat). Allah's Apostle made an announcement that all the pots should be upset and that nobody should eat anything of the meat of the donkeys. We thought that the Prophet prohibited that because the Khumus had not been taken out of the booty (i.e. donkeys); other people said, "He prohibited eating them for ever." The sub-narrator added, "I asked Said bin Jubair who said, 'He has made the eating of donkeys' meat illegal for ever.")

1) What is Khumus?

The “Khumus” or “Kumis” is the prophet’s share of all booty seized by Muslim

Sahih Bukhari: Volume 1, Book 10, Number 501:
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:
The Prophet said, " I order you to do four things and forbid you from four things. (The first four are as follows):

... 4. To give me Khumus

2) From the above Hadith, the first Muslims clearly believed that they were prevented from eating donkey meat because Mohammad because Mohammad did not get his share of war booty.
a) Does this mean that the first Muslims viewed Mohammad as a greedy pirate?
b) Does this mean that the first Muslims knew that Mohammad always had an ulterior, self-serving motive in coming up with his orders?
i) Afterall, Allah worked for Mohammad to ensure all his sexual desires were met:
http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/allah-works-to-make-sure-mohammads.html

3) If Mohammad was so concerned about his own motives, how does that make Muslims feel?
a) Can they trust Mohammad to intercede on their behalf?
b) See questions precent 1) a) c) http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/10/mohammad-re-gifter.html
c) Does this mean that Mohammad would have let his own followers starve before he let them have any of his war booty?
d) If Mohammad would let his immidiate followers starve to death after they fought valiabtly for him, how do you think he would treat modern Muslims if he saw them today?

4) Does Bukhari include this hadith to show that the first Muslims never believed that Mohammad cared for them?
a) Is Bukhari saying that Mohammad doesn't care about modern Muslims?
b) Is Bukhari telling Muslims to read what Mohammad did, and get an informed opinion about the "greatest prophet of all time" (may peace be upon him...)?!?!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Mohammad the re-gifter?

Sahih Muslim; Book 024, Number 5146:
lbn 'Umar reported that 'Umar saw a person of the tribe of 'Utirid selling a garment made of brocade or silk and said to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him): Would that you buy it? Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: He who wears it has no share for him in the Hereafter. Then Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) was presented with a striped silk garment and he sent it to him ('Umar). He (, Umar) said: You sent it to me whereas I heard from you about it what you had to say, whereupon he (Allah's Messenger) said: I sent it to you so that you may benefit by it.

1) Umar was the third caliph.
a) Because Umar, a former Caliph got a silk shirt, clearly against Mohammad's fashion rules, (http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/mohammad-caught-fashion-bug-gold-rings.html) does this mean he has no share of the Hereafter?
b) How about because Mohammad himself said he has no place in the Hereafter?
c) If a former Caliph has no place in the hereafter, how much chance does a Muslim have to get to the Herafter?
(See comment 6 of http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/muslim-must-have-hairless-palms-and.html)
i) More importantly, Muslims should remember the following:
Ishaq:306 "When the Allah's Apostle said, '70,000 of my followers shall enter Paradise like the full moon.' Ukkasha asked if he could be one of them. Then a lesser Ansari asked to be included, but the Prophet replied, 'Ukkasha beat you to it and my prayer is now cold.'"
ii) That only 70,000 Muslims get to heaven
iii) Mohammad was arbitrary and capricious in allowing who gets into heaven where one of his followers asked to get into heaven, and he said no because "my prayer is cold"
iv) How can anyone trust a man (or prophet) who responds to his own followers by saying "my prayer is cold"?

2) Umar caught Mohammad in his own hypocrisy when he responded "You sent it to me whereas I heard from you about it what you had to say"
a) Does this mean that Mohammad is a hypocrite?

3) Mohammad said "I sent it to you so that you may benefit by it."
a) How could Umar benefit by it?
i) By not getting a place in the hereafter?
b) Couldn't Mohammad have given Umar something which was not forbidden by himself?
i) Does this mean that Allah's Apostle would give people presents only things which he did not want or could not use?

4) Or more importantly, does Sahih Muslim demonstrate that Allah's Apostle was a smooth operator, and when questioned about something that clearly shows him to be a hypocrite, he could weasel his way out of his own double standards?
a) Is Mohammad like Allah, where all of Mohammad's desires are hastened?
""I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires."Bukhari - Volume 6, Book 60, Number 311: Narrated Aisha http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/allah-works-to-make-sure-mohammads.html

Friday, October 17, 2008

Muhammad gets owned by a drunken Hamza?

This hadith is long, so I will summarize it: After Ali got war booty (stolen from others) in the form of camels from the battle of Badr, he planned to give that war booty to Mohammad's daughter Fatima for marriage. However, Hamza was drunk, and hanging out with a belly dancer, who told him to cut up the camels. He did, Ali got ticked, told Muhammad that his property was destroyed (property which he stole from others). Muhammad came to reprimand Hamza, but Hamza asked Muhammad "are you anything but the slaves of my father?" Muhammad getting owned may have been the reason why alcohol was later outlawed...

Sahih Muslim: Book 023, Number 4881:
Husain b. 'Ali reported 'Ali having said: There fell to my lot a she-camel out of the spoils of war on the Day of Badr, and Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) gave me (another) she-camel on that day out of the Khums (one-fifth reserved for Allah and His Messenger). When I made up my mind to consummate my marriage with Fatima, the daughter of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him), I prevailed upon a goldsmith of the tribe of Qainuqa' to go along with me so that we might bring Idhkhir wishing to sell that to the goldsmiths and thus I should be able to arrange my wedding feast. While I was arranging the equipments. i. e. litters, sacks and ropes, my two she-camels were sitting down at the side of the apartment of a person of the Ansar. I collected (the different articles of equipment) and found to my surprise that their humps had been chopped off and their haunches had been cut off and their livers had been taken out. I could not help weeping when I saw that plight of theirs. I said: Who has done that? They said: Hamza b. 'Abd al-Muttalib has done this. and he is in this house dead drunk in the company of some of the Ansair with asinging girl singing before him and his companions. She said in her song: O Hamza. get up and attack these falty she-camels. Thereupon Hamza stood up with a sword (in his hand) and cut off their humps and ripped their haunches and tore out their livers. 'Ali said: I went away until I came to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and there was with him Zaid b. Haritha. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) recognised from my face what I had experienced, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: What has happened to you? I said: Messenger of Allah, by Allah, I have never seen (such an unfortunate day) as this day. Hamza has committed aggression to my she-camels, and has cut off their humps. and ripped their haunches, and he is in a house in the company of some drunkards. (Hearing this) Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) sent for his mantle and, putting it on him, he proceeded, and I and Zaid b. Haritha followed him, until he came to the door (of the house) in which there was Hamza. He (the Holy Prophet) sought permission which they granted him. and they were all drunk. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) began to reprimand Hamza for what he had done. Hamza's eyes were red. He cast a glance at Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and then looked towards his knees. and then lifted his eyes and cast a glance at his waist and then lifted his eyes and saw his face. And then Hamza said: Are you anything but the slaves of my father? Alah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) came to know that he was intoxicated, and he thus turned upon his heels, and came out, and we also came out along with him.

1) Is it ok to destroy another person's property?
a) How about stealing it through war booty?
b) How about destroying it when it is war booty?
c) How about stealing someone else's stolen property?
d) How about destroying someone else's stolen property?

2) What was worse; the way Hamza butchered those camels, or that he asked if Mohammad was a slave to his father?
a) Is Hamza revered by Muslims?
b) Why did not Mohammad not reprimand Hamza?

Answer: Because it was Hamza who made Islam strong - not Mohammad - As such, Mohammad could not tick off who made him strong
Tabari VI:103/Ishaq:132 "Hamza's Islam was complete. He followed the Prophet's every command. The Quraysh recognized that by Hamzah's acceptance of Islam Muhammad had been made strong. Hamzah would protect him."

3) Why did Hamza ask Mohammad "Are you anything but the slaves of my father? "
a) Drunkeness makes one tell the truth a lot easier.
b) Does this mean that Hamza viewed Mohammad so lowly that he thought of him as just a slave?
c) Does this mean that he only followed Mohammad so that he could go on raids for plunder like that of Badr (see above)?
i) Afterall, Allah's Apostle once said:

Volume 4, Book 53, Number 351: Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah:Allah's Apostle said, "Booty has been made legal for me."

4) At this point, alcohol had not been forbidden
a) Does this mean that Mohammad forbid alcohol because he did not want people to engage in aggressive behaviour such as ripping camels apart in the most cruel way?
b) Or did he not want people to drink because their true feelings about him would come to the surface, namely, his most loyal followers viewed him as nothing more than a slave of their fathers?

5) Why did Sahih Muslim include this verse?
a) Was it to show how alcohol became forbidden in Islam?
b) Or, was it to show what the original Muslims thought of Mohammad, in addition to the other non-muslims?
http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/10/muhammad-or-mudhammam.html

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

How to be a good Muslim, and reactions you get when you tell people these rules

Sahih Muslim;

Book 002, Number 0502:
'A'isha reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be npon him) said: Ten are the acts according to fitra: clipping the moustache, letting the beard grow, using the tooth-stick, snuffing water in the nose, cutting the nails, washing the finger joints, plucking the hair under the armpits, shaving the pubes and cleaning one's private parts with water. The narrator said: I have forgotten the tenth, but it may have been rinsing the mouth.

1 & 2) Clipping the Moustache and growing the beard - The reason why one clips the moustache and grows a beard is to fight polytheists

(Ibn Umar said: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be opon him) said: Act against the polytheists, trim closely the moustache and grow beard. (Sahih Muslim 2:500, 501))

Polytheists get beaten by this look because they get scared. It is an old trick used by many Romans. Case in point, the guy to the right. No polytheist would want to face a guy like that. Case in point - No one wants to deal with a guy like that

3) Using the toothstick: Because good breath is very important. In fact it is the same reason why garlic has been outlawed as part of Islam (http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/allahs-apostle-forbade-eating-of-garlic.html)
However, it was not important enough to require forcing one to brush with the toothstick while praying: (Sahih Muslim Book 002, Number 0487: Abu Huraira reported: The Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: Were it not that I might over-burden the believers-and in the hadith transmitted by Zuhair" people" -I would have ordered them to use toothstick at every time of prayer.

But, when farting, one must restart their prayer (Volume 1, Book 4, Number 137: Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The prayer of a person who does ,Hadath (passes, urine, stool or wind) is not accepted till he performs (repeats) the ablution." A person from Hadaramout asked Abu Huraira, "What is 'Hadath'?" Abu Huraira replied, " 'Hadath' means the passing of wind from the anus." )

4) Snuffing Water in the Nose: Why do Muslims perform this action? Because none other than Satan lives in one's nose

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 137: Abu Huraira reported: The Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) said. When any one of you awakes up from sleep and performs ablution, he must clean his nose three times, for the devil spends the night in the interior of his nose.

5) Cutting the nails - So sins can come out of them... Apparently, if you have dirty nails, the sins may get clogged up

Book 002, Number 0476:
Uthman b. 'Affan reported: The Messenger of Allah (way peace be upon him) said: He who performed ablution well, his sins would come out from his body, even coming out from under his nails.

6) Washing the Finger Joints - It is just the way Muslims do things... All Muslims should wash the their finger joints. In fact, one should especially wash their finger joints by having others lick food stains that are on their fingerjoints, http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/07/mohammad-original-kfc-colonel.html

7) Plucking the armpits: A new excuse for the Iranian Burka police

http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/08/muslim-must-have-hairless-palms-and.html

8 & 9) Cleaning the pubic regions - I told a guy that he should shave his pubes and he said "that is the gayest thing I ever heard. He was Muslim, and when I told him Mohammad ordered it, he said "No way"...

But, washing the pubic region is extremely important. However, one should remember not to cleanse themselves with bones or animal dung as Mohammad befriended Jinn, and ensured Jinn would find food on animal dung and bones http://muslimhadith.blogspot.com/2008/05/animal-dung-is-food-of-jinns.html

Now you have it - the reason why the above actions are fitra

But ultimately, why are these actions fitra? What is the unifying theme between all of these actions? I have no idea...